I hate cooking as much as the next man, but I do it because I’m not going to live off of fat-ass fast food and tv dinners.

You’ll find some great recipes online for all these fancy dishes, but I’m not going to cook fancy every day, or every week or even every month. When I cook, I cook simple. Today, I am going to share with you my recipe for eating like a civilized caveman.

Follow this recipe and you can eat meat off the bone like a real deal caveman but you won’t have to chase the wild beast down in the forest and stab it to death with your flint knife.

The great thing about this recipe is that it’s easy to prepare (less than 5 minutes) and provides for a feast. It will provide an entire days worth of food, and if you cook a bunch at once you will have food for several days - leaving you free to kick ass and not be running around trying to take care of lunch and dinner.

STEP #1 - Buy Some Ribs

Pork ribs come in a few different flavors: Baby back, St. Louis Style, and Spare ribs. I have a fool proof 3-part system to choose which cut to buy: 1) What is available at the grocery store and 2) What looks good and 3) What is the best price. For the big boy pictured below I usually spend $10 and it will give me an entire days worth of meat.

STEP #2 - Coat the Ribs in your Favorite Dry Seasoning

I use only 2 seasonings: Coarse sea salt and Chinese BBQ (Shao Kao). You can use whatever dry seasoning you fancy. Hell, even salt and pepper will work fine. We’re not trying to win awards by how many fancy ingredients we can throw together, we are trying to make it tasty and easy. Be sure to coat both sides of the ribs with your seasonings. Coat the bottom side first and then coat the top side (the meaty side) and cook the ribs meaty side up.

Place the ribs on a cookie sheet or glass baking dish. I always use tin foil because the ribs will make a mess of the pan and it’s a real bitch to clean, when you use tin-foil there is almost no mess in the bottom of the pan. Sometimes, like pictured below, the rack of ribs will be so big it overflows and the fat will cook off the ribs and fall to the bottom of the oven, leaving a nasty mess. In this instance I will place the ribs in a glass baking sheet and place that baking sheet on top of a cookie sheet, the cookie sheet will catch all the runoff fat and grease. This will result in easier cleanup.

STEP #3 - Cook at 450 Degrees for One Hour

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. I place the ribs in the top of the oven because they get a better crisp and they cook faster. If you cook two or more racks of ribs you will notice that the ribs on the top of the oven cook faster and darker than the ribs in the middle of the oven. Cook for 50 minutes to one hour. If you cook two or more racks you will have to cook the ribs in the middle or the bottom of the oven for a longer time than you will cook the ribs on the top of the oven. You can eyeball the ribs to tell when they have reached desired doneness.

STEP #4 - Remove Ribs from Oven

When your ribs have reached their desired doneness, after 50 minutes to one hour, remove them from the oven and let them cool off for about 15 minutes. When you remove them from the oven they are going to be sizzling and they will cook for several more minutes.

STEP #5 - Slice off a Chunk

After your ribs have cooled down you can slice off a chunk to eat.

STEP #6 - Slice Individual Ribs

Of course you probably don’t want to eat a big piece of rib like in the above pic, so if you are a civilized caveman you will slice each rib separately. The ribs are much easier to eat when they are separated and you can really eat all the meat this way.

STEP #7 - Eat With Your Hands and Enjoy Being a Civilized Caveman

No picture but you get the gist.

STEP #8 - Put the Leftover Ribs in the Refrigerator

After the leftover ribs have cooled down you can place them in the refrigerator to eat later. Ribs actually taste better when they are reheated than when they are fresh. That’s just one of those mysteries of the universe.

PRO TIPS:

• Be sure to have dental floss nearby. After eating caveman ribs you will need to floss your teeth. If you do not floss you will look like JAWS and the next time you go to the Dentist the cute girl who cleans your teeth will be disgusted. I like the combination floss/toothpicks.
• BBQ Sauce is the best dipping sauce for Pork ribs and Sweet Baby Rays is the best BBQ sauce on the market.
• Cook a bunch of ribs at the same time and reheat them later. Ribs, for some reason, taste better reheated than when fresh and it’s easier to cook a bunch if you plan to eat them frequently, like I do.
• You can cook all styles of Pork ribs the same. You can also cook Beef ribs using this same recipe.
• Enjoy your tasty meal.

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