Being an Ass-kicker means you have to cut out all nonsense, that includes friends and relationships that are not beneficial to you.
To live like an Ass-kicking Spartan is to live a bare bones, necessity filled life.
There comes a time when you've got to re-assess friendships. In the life of an Ass-kicker there just isn't any room for low-yield relationships.
If your friends don't serve a definite dual purpose then it's time to let them go.
Dual purpose friendships: you enjoy spending time with the person and you accomplish an activity.
A low-yield friend is a friend that does not serve a purpose. A friend that just wants to ‘hang out', gossip, use narcotics, whine or talk about themselves or other nonsense.
A low-yield friend is an “energy vampire”, someone who drains you of energy by just spending time with you.
A high-yield friend is a friend you can hit the gym with, train MMA or other activity with, learn something from, or accomplish something with. A high-yield friend energizes you.
An easy test to tell a high-yield friend from a low-yield friend is how often you answer the phone when they call. If you continually don't answer the phone when they call that's a sign that they need to be given their walking papers. If you typically answer the phone when they call then they can stay.
Who to give the boot to:
Gossips, Loudmouths, Whiners and Negative Nancy's.
In the life of an Ass-kicker these types are invisible and speak an alien language that only other idiots can understand. Gossips want to chatter about nonsense. They love to work in an office because they have a captive audience for their baloney and can easily infect you with their disease. This is one great reason to leave the corporate life.
Negative Nancy's just want to be negative and nasty about everything.
If you've got some friends like that it's time to give those chatter-boxes the boot.
How to Deal with Drama:
Drama does not exist in the life of a Spartan. Drama must be invited in, like a Vampire, or it cannot exist in your world. If you have “dramatic” friends give those narcissists the boot. There's no time for nonsense. If you wanted to hear about drama you could go searching for the latest celebrity gossip.
This is what you tell your chatter-box friends when they call you about nonsense:
“Don't ever call me about that BS again.”
Click.
Spending time with friends should serve a purpose. You should get activities done. “Hanging out” is usually a big waste of time. Every second you “hang out” is a second you have wasted. “Hanging out” is keeping you from your goals.
When your friends call it should be for a specific purpose. They should call only to give you some pertinent information or invite you to an activity such as weightlifting or social activities on a Saturday night after a week of killing.
If you've got free time to spare then go and “hang out” for a little while, but it shouldn't be routine.
Tell your friends if they have non-pertinent information then they have to e-mail you. E-mails are easier to ignore than a ringing phone. A ringing phone should mean business. A phone call is an intrusion and should have a specific goal and purpose.
Dealing with girlfriends and girl friends.
A girlfriend is a girl you are romantically and physically involved with. Don't get caught up in silly phone conversations with girlfriends. Limit conversations to 5 or 10 minutes. Don't waste time with back-and-forth text messaging. They can talk to you at night, in person, when business is taken care of.
A girl friend is a friend who is a girl. There is no reason to have girl friends. Girl friends serve absolutely no purpose. There are only two reasons males have girl friends 1) They're gay 2) They're trying to have sex with the girl and they're stuck in the friend zone - and that's just a big old waste of time on a massive scale.
Kick the low yield friends out of your life for good.
Keep the high yield friends.
You'll be glad you did.
MORE ON FRIENDSHIP FROM A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE: How to Turn Good Friends into Great Friends | Building Your Crew | How to Find Legit Friends: The Ten Year Test | Biblical Wisdom: My Approach to Friendship
Man, an over-the-phone encounter i just had makes me wonder again just why i even want to have friends. sure, i like being social. but, friends always want you to compromise your ways and then they get angry with you when you don’t want to bend. If you bend, they’ll be pleased, but ultimately you’ll be unhappy. When i think about hero-type movies, the heroes have only small circles of friends, if any. look at rocky, rambo, rudy, finding forrester. i could name plenty. yes, i know they are just movies, but they often reflect reality. have girlfriends (sexual partners), but as for male friends, sometimes it seems they are bigger bitches than girls.
Pete,
Being social is one thing but putting up with baloney is another.
another thing i would add, that i have recently discovered to be of utmost importance in a true friend: HONESTY.
I don’t want friends who tell me I’m good at something when i need improvement, who give me white lies trying to spare my “feelings”. I’m from Canada and in our polite society its so fucking common. people are so afraid to speak their mind. I’m ilving in russia now and its such a change i can barely wrap my head around it. One of my closest friends here constantly tells me my russian sucks, i need to improve, i should be practicing guitar more (we play music together), make more money blah blah blah.
Everything he says is the truth. He says it harshly and to the point, and i love him for it. I send it right back to him and we are constantly overflowing with ideas and plans as a result. a true friend
Jordan,
Good point. I have had to tell several friends what a giant mistake they were making when they got engaged to sluts. Telling the truth goes for girlfriends as well, if she gains weight or looks unattractive you should tell her and not lie to her and feed the delusions. Sometimes the truth is hard to hear and hard to say, but it needs to be said.
On a side note: they probably tell you the truth in Russia because Russia is just about the only white country left with any balls. Europe, Canada and the States thrive on telling lie after lie after lie. Australians still have some semblance of balls, which is why many hollywood action stars are imported from Australia.
I’d add the Irish into that mix as well.
They’re probably the last race left in the Western World of true hard ass tough as nails muthafucka’s.
I was there last summer and went and caught a hurling match , a popular sport there..
It dates back thousands of years apparently..
Check this shit out…its insane..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmzivRetelE
Not to mention their version of football which looks equally as deranged..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEAbWrdB9XU
Ever heard of “The Notorious” Conor McGregor
Best point to the story is about guys who have freinds who are girls either because they are gay or because they want to have sex and cannot figure out how to. HUGE, HUGE point I’ve always kept in the back of my mind. All these chicks who say ” most of my friends are guys” are full of shit!!! This is an easy way to be a closet slut and they expect guys to believe this horseshit. Any guy who puts up with a girl going out with other “guy friends” is a spineless bitch and shouldn’t act surprised when he walks in on her with bestie guy friends d*ck in her!!!
If she has mostly guy friends that’s a sure sign she that she isn’t worth any serious consideration as a girlfriend, only as a pumper and dumper.
True, only 3 reasons I’ve found for a woman to have mostly guy friends, and none are good.
1) closet slut
2) narcissist who thrives on keeping a stable of hapless betas
3) She can’t get along with her peers
In Asia, though, i believe that boy/girl relationships might differ from the west. I know korean and japanese girls who have male friends, but that is all they are - friends, not potential sexual conquests. Or, at lease that is what they say and seems to be the case from my own observation. And vice-versa with guys.
But, in the west, i couldn’t agree more. Guys with female friends are either gay or looking to get some.
The relationships differ in Asia because the men are highly feminine and will not assert themselves. Interestingly, Asian girls raised in the states marry white guys over 50% of the time.
Many foreigners raised in the states will marry whites. Its a matter of probability. You are more likely to meet a white in the states, not …
If marriage was about random probability then most ethnic groups wouldn’t exist here. For example blacks would have been absorbed into the much larger population of whites over centuries of random intermarriage. Fact is, people generally prefer to live amongst, work with, hang out with and marry other people who are similar to them. So, yes there is some randomness at work on the individual level but across many samples (entire populations) people can be expected to marry their own. If it’s really true that Asian females marry white more often than they marry Asian men then it seems to indicate some overriding force…maybe something like what Victor pointed out in his comment above?
Allow me to talk about my experience in that field, better not to generalise, but asian girls are usually extremely smart in faking emotions, the are mostly materialistic and care much about the partners career, they even care about the skin colour for the sake of they kids future (certainly not everyone in asia, depends on which family she come from, rich, poor….) much are so brain washed from the other idols around so that they think, the right man should look as feminene as this, how sick is that, when meeting a korean a determining conversation starts as the following: where are you from? What are you working as? I am not an ethnic european and i live in Germany, I’ve met a lot of these types, i even had the chance to find out the truth myself.. they act as shy but in reality, she could be inviting male friends home for fun, and you will never ever find out, when she deletes every SMS EMAIL linked to it.. disguisting! Be careful folks..
True. They are a beautiful race - Asian females, that is.
i am currently working towards a specific career. 2 of my best friends are already working in this field. being around them inspires and motivates me to keep going, to work as hard as i possibly can to reach my goal. some guys i currently work with are happy doing 2nd, 3rd best. if you’re not first, you’re last. surround yourself with people who push you to be your best, not people who “like you just the way you are”. your mother loves you unconditionally, not your friends.
Really enjoyed this post, especially the part about girlfriends and girl friends.
I felt guilty about cutting girlfriends off because i didn’t want to chit chat on the phone for an hour, and i have a few girl friends because i thought it was ‘healthy’ even though i felt it was very low yield. Thanks for showing me the right of it.
You hit the nail on the head with the friend zone. I spent months of time and energy my sophomore year of college trying to get with a girl. I did countless favors and spent tons of money trying to “woo” her. Eventually I spent 400 dollars on concert tickets to her favorite singer and asked her on a date. She said she’d go and I thought I was doing fine and dandy, until about two weeks before the concert she happens to get a boyfriend. Huh, funny thing for a girl to do when she has a date with you. I’m obviously ballistic. She was apparently under the assumption that we were going as friends. I still pussy footed around for a while until I thought to myself WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!!! I decided at that moment that I would no longer waste time being some bitches lap dog holding the slim chance of sex over me like a dog treat. I learned the hard way that being the nice, sensitive, (pussy) is a waste of time. I reached into my pants to ensure my balls were still attached and sprinted forward determined to be the alpha male that I am, leaving whatever, or whoever got in my way behind me in the dust. I haven’t reached all of my lofty goals yet, but I have damn sure taken a step in the right direction, and nothing will stop me.
Glad to hear it, Nick.
Yeah, some Girl Friends will really rub the friend-zone in your face, too. I had one do this a few weeks ago. We were sitting in her car talking (trying to kill time and sober up), after a night at the bar. Had a great time. Anyway, we get to a certain point in the conversation and, she makes some comment about, “You know those smells… The ones that you don’t really like but they just turn you on… Like pussy?” (has doe-eyes, while saying this). I reply with a smirk and, “Sure, but I like it.” I figured, what the hell, and place a hand on her leg… She says nothing. I proceed to play around a bit… She says nothing. I get to the goodies and, BAM! She pushes my hand away, saying, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that… Let’s just keep it friendly, okay?”
In a past life, I would’ve meekly accepted this and apologized my head off, claiming, “I just want to be friends, too.” However, to this insult, I looked in her eyes and laughed, with an, “OK… Well, gotta go! Thanks for the drinks!” I left her sitting right in the car. She didn’t know what to do, her mouth agape. She was the one apologizing to me, as I exited the vehicle. I haven’t returned her texts. I think she was stunned that I did not follow the Nice Guy Script and accept being trodden upon.
Vic is right, Girl Friends are useless.
Dude.
That was just friggin’ awesome!!
Funny line bro-“I reached into my pants to make sure my balls were still attached! “Yes my friend,as they say-“treat em mean,keep em keen!” Women look up to dudes who take charge and tell it straight and don’t take any shit. Feminism has cowered men and totally perverted their natural instincts as to how they should negotiate interactions with women. Remember-Biology trumps Sociology and always will. Despite our veneer of civility and sophistication,we are still just Apes in Armani.Anyone who thinks otherwise,ought read-Desmond Morris-he of -‘The Naked Ape’
EG- I met this girl I casually knew at a club one night.She had previously given me her phone number,but her writing was so bad that I couldn’t make out the correct numbers.When I tried it,the call came back as incorrect number.So,when we met again,she asked why I didn’t call her.I replied that I tried several times,but the number was wrong.She implied that I was lying and despite my protestations,she wouldn’t accept my excuse, which was the genuine truth.So,after that,I just turned and said-“whether you believe it or not I don’t give a flying fuck.If you don’t think I’ll telling the truth,piss off!” Well,blow me down with a feather! The bitch was all over me like a cheap suit,apologizing and grovelling like a beggar!!
I disagree with the having female friends thing on one point only. I think one can have them if they are way below your league. In other words, I don’t want to have sex with them in any situation whatsoever. Looking back, those are the only friendships that I have had with women that can last long. A good rule of thumb, if you can fart in their presence, then you have a real girl friend.
This blog kicks so much ass it’s not even funny dude.
Haha my thoughts exactly !
I have a few girl friends, only because they are friends of my wife, or friends of my sister. Or neighbors. Or “family friends”.
Then, I used to have 2 or 3 girlfriends, who didn’t know each other. But that was before I got married.
Then I got married. The wives here tend to be very much like the wife described by Victor Pride in the wife article, so mine almost matches, except I let her have a day job too. So she’s free to do shopping with her money, because I take care of all the other important stuff.
Here is a dilemma what if its your parents (your father) who is so damn negative and cynical, but you have trained together for 16 years and all you hea4 how bad his life turned out even when ive explained that within 3 year it could change. And that his tv is his biggest asset.
do you think its right to dump him and train alone and just get on with life?
*hear
Love the answering your phone as a friend indicator, lot of truth there.
Dude, this is just the article I’ve been looking for. I’m in a marrige that I know I rushed into, too soon like 6 months (Yea I know it was a dumb move). I have to give it to you straight. She’s mentally great but on the outside she doesn’t take care of herself. She hates going to the gym and tries to use the fact that I want her to put more effort into herself physically, against me. As in you don’t love me for who I am. But there is no mutual gain here. Every time I try to get some ass kicking processes in place I feel like I can only go so far because she isn’t moving fast enough or wanting to do enough. But this article has helped me with an issue I’ve been dealing with for a while. I feel like I’ve been stuck in a low yeild figure 8.
Forgot to say thanks for this article!!
Yeah as an Aussie bloke, I’ve found the older guys have balls but the younger they get the wussier they get.
Sadly Australia is becoming like the rest of the white countries, but its sites like yours that are reminding the kids how they should be acting, not like the fags they see in the media.
Keep up the great work vic
B&D hits the nail on the head once again! Great article Victor.
I’ll add one to the “Negative Nancy” category-I had one friend I had to cut off due to his constant complaining about his health issues. Some of his other friends actually started to refer to him as “Erore,” the donkey from the Disney movies.
“There are only two reasons males have girl friends 1) They’re gay 2) They’re trying to have sex with the girl and they’re stuck in the friend zone – and that’s just a big old waste of time on a massive scale.”
I would like to point out the only working exception: 3) They are family: Sister, Cousin, Aunt.
Having a good set of friends is an extremely valuable asset. This should be a group of friends that encourage you and are positive, but will not shy away from telling you when you are making a mistake. Conversely, toxic friends need to be deleted from you life. If all your friends do is bring you down and try to drag you into their misery, it’s going to have a negative effect on your life.
Reading the post and some comments really makes me rethink what friendship is. Lookimg back, I have come to realize that I almost have no true friends, and big part of that is I did not actively seek true friends and strive to become one that deserves true friendship. I was comfortable with hanging out with people who like to gossip and complain. Thanks victor, this post is really a wake-up call for me!
Victor,
Your articles about women are always eye opening. It’s great to hear you describing the way to consider relationships with women.
Damn, every minute spent reading this blog is worthwile, it’s amazing.
“There is no reason to have girl friends. Girl friends serve absolutely no purpose. There are only two reasons males have girl friends 1) They’re gay 2) They’re trying to have sex with the girl and they’re stuck in the friend zone – and that’s just a big old waste of time on a massive scale.”
I don’t know why guys don’t get this this. I have no girl friends. Sure, I have a few girls I can contact on a friendly basis, but they can never get as close as a male friend or do similar or same hobbies or activities. If they get that close, then why aren’t they dating me? Women and men just aren’t equal, and girl friends always have the problem of possible romantic attachment - always.
Hi Victor, I usually agree with everything you say, but I don’t think that it’s wrong for a guy to have female friends. I have a lot of female friends that I am very close to, and I don’t really see them in the romantic sense; and yes, some of them are very hot. I have a girlfriend too, so I’m pretty sure I’m not gay.. ;)
Having female friends is just fine, even for the most hardcore of spartans… But acting like you want to be friends with them, but secretly desiring them is pathetic.
You sound like a gay to me bro. No offense. You’re just in the closet. Most chicks suck. They nag and whine and are full of drama and you spending your free time listening to that crap….is exactly the same as working with no pay (i.e. getting pussy). The hours your spend facebooking with them and listening to what the karadashians are up to… is time that you could have be lifting, preparing your meals for the week, reading books, surfing, whatever…anything is better IMO. You should score at least a “handy” from time to time for putting up with their shit. And you know you put up with their shit.
It may be a bit off topic but as you talk about different countries, I would like to know the top 10 countries subscribers.
What about friends who constantly want to grab you or wrestle with you in public victor have you had friends like this?
What did you do ?I feel like its like a test to see how masculine and tough you are or because he’s just comfortable with doing it to me and my other friwnd.But the other just takes it and he kinda bullies him.
What wouls you do if your friend always wanted to grab you and wrestle you?
Hey Vic,
Fuckin, great, article. I recently went to a negative nancy friend of mine to ask for relationship friend about a girl whose social status is at least 10 levels above me but she likes me. That negative nancy said that im a pussy and cant really close this girl because i have no balls. That was definitely an energy drain. After coming back home i felt fucking worthless. After talking to a good friend of mine i got mh energy back and i have decided to limit my contact with the negative nancy. You’re right
Hey Vic,
Great post as usual. Would you consider girls whom you have to do business with as friends, since they would come under the category of ‘ass-kicking’ people?
Happy 2016 Vic. I keep coming back to this post Vic. I just love reading it because its so true. Everything you say is very true because I see many of the things you say here at the school were I teach at along with seeing it with many of my young nephews. I have sent them this article on several occasions. Some of them get it and others just stoped talking to me, LOL.
“A girl friend is a friend who is a girl. There is no reason to have girl friends. Girl friends serve absolutely no purpose.”
Amen.
The one reason to have girls who are friends is if they are on the same path of self improvement as you are or have great mind and insight in some things you need help in. For example I have a girl friend who is not attractive because she is great endocrinologist and we discuss human body and endocrine system quite a bit since it is crucial for my job to understand it.
“Gossips, Loudmouths, Whiners and Negative Nancy’s.”
And guys who’s girlfriends are sluts.
When I kicked the low yield relationships out of my life, I realized that family had to go too.
I take care of my whole family but I don’t seek their company.