1) GOMAD - Gallon of milk a day. This is exactly what it sounds like. You drink one whole gallon of milk every single day for a specified period of time. Why would anyone do such foolishness? To put on weight, of course.

Does it work?

Yes and no.

Let’s start at the beginning. When I decided to embark on this experiment I was pretty dang lean. I had just dieted down and I wanted to pack on some mass. I had been reading about G.O.M.A.D. for a number of years, had always had an interest in it but I do not drink pasteurized milk so I never tried it. As luck would have it I found a local farm that sold fresh, raw unpasteurized milk (at only $8 per gallon) so I was in business.

Every single day for 6 weeks I forced a gallon of raw milk down my throat. No matter what. When I went to underground poker games I brought a gallon of milk and a glass with me. If I still had a half gallon of milk left and it was time for bed I would stay awake and finish it all. There was not one single day in this 6 week period that I did not drink an entire gallon of raw milk.

What happened?

One thing that happened is that my strength shot through the roof. It really did. I got stronger than I ever was before (but keep in mind I was also training for strength for the first time).

I did put on weight, about 25 lbs to be exact. At the end of my experiment I was lifting at the gym and a guy came up to me and said “Don’t you workout with that Asian dude? Man you got HUGE! You were always big but you got way bigger. How much do you weigh?” etc.

Sounds great! What are the downsides?

The downside is that I got pretty dang fat. Not fat compared to an average person but pretty fat, too fat. I definitely put on muscle, but once the shirt came off you couldn’t see it.

I also had to wake up roughly 6 times per night to urinate. Every single night. For 6 weeks.

I also spent $8 per day on milk in addition to the food I still ate. That’s $400 for 6 weeks. That’s as expensive as a steroid cycle and about 1/10 as effective.

What’s the verdict?

GOMAD is not worth it - UNLESS you are extremely underweight and are lifting like a maniac 6 days per week. Anyone else shouldn’t be doing this. If you don’t have access to RAW milk I cannot recommend it to anyone. Pasteurized milk will get you fat (and probably sick) pretty dang fast.

2) Eating Raw Paleo - The paleo diet is a new fad diet in which you eat the way your ancestors supposedly ate. Lots of meat, vegetables, fruits and nuts. Not a bad idea. Of course I like it extreme so I took it one step further and did RAW paleo. I did this for three months but stopped when I wanted to put on some extra weight.

What is Raw Paleo?

Raw Paleo is when you eat a Paleo diet (Meat, Veggies, Fruits and Nuts) but you do not cook anything. You eat everything completely raw.

Surely you didn’t eat raw meat?

I sure did. Every single day I ate raw beef, and sometimes raw Lamb or raw Buffalo meat in addition to the many raw vegetables and raw fruits I was consuming. Mostly I ate tomatoes, apples, oranges, some “raw” cashews (they use heat to open the cashew shell, not exactly raw). That’s pretty much what I ate, with some raw Liver thrown in once in a while.

How does raw meat taste? and doesn’t it make you sick?

Raw Beef tastes pretty dang good. It’s a weird feeling at first, but after you get used to it you like it very much. Raw Steak fat is especially delicious. I never once had a problem eating raw beef but raw buffalo did give me diarrhea once. When you cook meat you denature the proteins with too much heat. If the meat isn’t heated it isn’t denatured. So A) You don’t need to eat as much and B) Your body utilizes much of what you eat. You’ll notice that bowel movements are just a shell of their former size when you utlize everything you eat.

What happened?

When I was eating nothing but raw I felt like superman. I felt invincible. I felt so great I stopped wearing a seatbelt, I thought nothing could hurt me. My bodyfat was just coming off like nothing and I was barely working out at the time. I got in the best shape I had been in at that time and I was lifting maybe 3 days per week with not much intensity.

What’s the verdict?

Give it a try - if you’ve got the stomach for it!

3) Celibacy - No sex for 8 (eight!) months. My least favorite experiment. I had been reading about guys like Nikola Tesla who were celibate geniuses and I already knew about the power of Transmutation of Sexual Energy so I bit the bullet and decided to give it a try.

What happened?

Nothing good came of it. I could literally feel my testosterone sapping away. During this time I wasn’t especially productive or happy. Probably because I didn’t outlaw masturbation, only sex - big mistake. I felt like those guys that have never had a girlfriend and spend all their time playing world of warcraft. I was just in a bad mood all the time.

What’s the verdict?

Not worth it! In fact, to get great results you should reverse this experiment - no masturbation but plenty of sex!

4) Keto dieting combined with Intermittent Fasting - A keto diet is one where you eat nothing but protein and fat - no carbohydrates - in an effort to lose bodyfat. Intermittent Fasting is where you eat for part of the day and fast (don’t eat) for most of the day. In this case you eat for 8 hours per day and fast for 16 hours per day. There are plenty of health benefits and reasons to eat and not eat, feast and fast, detailed here. I did this diet to burn off all the extra bodyfat I put on drinking a gallon of raw milk per day.

What was your diet?

For lunch I had steak and eggs cooked in butter. For dinner I had bacon and eggs. That’s it. I did this Monday through Friday. Saturday was my cheat day and I could eat anything I wanted, usually I ate a whole blueberry pie with french vanilla ice cream. On Sunday I ate moderately. I did this diet for 4 weeks, every single Monday-Friday was nothing but Steak, eggs, butter and bacon.

What happened?

I burned off a whole bunch of that bodyfat that I put on while doing GOMAD. But I had some other, even better side effects - constant energy levels. I never had a dip in energy, I never had to take a nap, I didn’t even feel the need to eat - that’s because I didn’t eat any carbohydrates and I never had an insulin spike. On my Saturday cheat day I would ALWAYS have to take a nap and I would’t feel too great on top of that. During the week I felt like a million bucks, never bloated, never hungry, no ups and downs in energy levels - just calm, cool, steady and collected. It was a great feeling.

What’s the verdict?

Definitely worth doing! Lose some bodyfat and keep energy levels steady - it’s win-win!

Getting lean is the hard part. Staying lean is easy as pie IF you follow a few guidelines. In fact, once you are lean it’s near impossible to get fat, no matter what you eat, if you follow these guidelines.

1) Never, ever snack - Forget about snacks forever. Snacks are for fatties who can’t control themselves. Since you got yourself lean (sub 10% bodyfat) we know you can control yourself. Snacks exist only to make you fat, they have no other purpose. They aren’t filling. They aren’t full of proteins, vitamins and minerals. They are full of fatness for you. Take a look around your office, watch all the fatties snack throughout the day, and then count how many times they say “I don’t know why I can’t lose weight, I don’t even eat meals, I just snack!” If you have a sweet tooth have some dessert after your meal, just don’t do it between meals. Give your stomach a rest and give your body a chance to digest all that food and a chance to keep burning that un-wanted fat.

2) Eat 2 big meals per day on average - Eating 2 big meals per day will keep you lean forever. It’s damn near impossible to gain any weight eating twice per day (so eat more when you want to bulk up) no matter what you eat. Obviously you will still want to eat well most of the time (steaks, eggs, fish, chicken, duck etc..) but it’s no problem to go and grab some McDonalds and ice cream sometimes. Sometimes you will eat 3 or 4 meals per day, but if you average two meals per day you will be fine. For the doubters, it is not hard to eat two meals per day, it is quite easy. Skip breakfast and have lunch and dinner. Skip dinner and have lunch and breakfast. Have brunch and supper. Doesn’t matter. Eat big, eat until you’re full and it’s a piece of cake.

3) Don’t drink calories - Drinks like soda, sweet tea and gatorade are quite deceiving. They are chock full of sugar and calories, they usually don’t quench your thirst so you end up drinking more and just getting fatter. Stay away from these and watch the fat stay off. Quench your thirst with water, black coffee, and unsweetened tea. If you are lean it’s easy enough to have a beer or two with dinner or a soda with dinner and not see any unwanted fat, but only with meals. The one exception is that sometimes you just need to drink a six-pack of beer or a pint of Jack Daniels with a Coca Cola chaser. It isn’t going to harm you if you follow the other rules.

4) Don’t forget to hit the gym - Don’t forget what sculpted your guns in the first place. Once you get down to a respectable bodyfat it’s easy enough to coast and maintain. Hit the gym every week (even 3 days per week will help you maintain), follow the rules above, and watch yourself never get fat.

Once you get lean and wish to only maintain your leanness it’s really very easy. No need to count calories, to count macronutrients, to do cardio, to drink 2 gallons of water per day, to eat 6 meals per day of dry Chicken and brown rice. Eat twice, hit the gym, and live your life with your hard-as-a-rock abs.

Easy Peasy Japanesey.

Diets don’t work.

In other recent news: We Landed on the Moon.

That diets don’t work should be so stupidly obvious I feel like a moron even typing this, however, most people still really do believe that to lose weight you have to go on a diet and eat “diet food”. That typical “diet food” actually makes people fat, even obese, in the first place won’t enter into may peoples minds.

There are 3 basic premises of diets and they are all wrong and completely misguided.

1) To lose weight you have to go on a diet. After you lose the weight you can go off the diet.

“I lost the weight but as soon as I got off the diet I gained it all back!”

What? No! As soon as you started eating the foods that made you fat in the first place you got fat again? Incredulous!

2) You have to eat low calorie foods to lose weight.

This premise is so simple yet so incredibly wrong. If you eat calorie foods you have to eat A LOT to get full. You need to be full to stop eating. If you aren’t full you will keep eating. Low calorie foods will never leave you satisfied, instead you will feel ravenous and fall off the diet within a matter of weeks or days or hours.

Instead, you need HIGH CALORIE, NUTRITIONALLY DENSE, WHOLE FOODS. High calorie whole foods keep you satiated with less food so you do not need to snack or to keep constantly eating. Simple, right?

3) You have to eat diet foods to lose weight.

Diet sodas, low fat yogurt, fat free cookies, “heart healthy” cereals etc.. These types of foods are the biggest cause of obesity in the world which is why you see carts full of these types of foods belonging to obese people. Simple math right? 2+2=a fatter you. Why the link hasn’t been connected by people everywhere is a mystery . These foods aren’t foods. They were foods once, then they were chemically processed and stripped of ALL nutritional value so they could be stored indefinitely and not go bad, then some nutrients were added back in and sold to a bigger, fatter you.

How to Lose Weight and Keep it off:

Stop eating junk food. If it doesn’t go bad it isn’t food. No exceptions.

Eat nutritionally dense whole foods: steaks, pork, chicken, eggs, potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, butter, raw milk (if it hasn’t been criminalized in your area by the FDA - think of the FDA as your new step-mommy that hates your guts and wants you out of the picture. Their ‘advice’ is not supposed to make you healthy and is to be avoided at all costs). Think about the types of foods your grandparents and great-grandparents would eat and eat those foods.

Don’t eat more than 3 times per day. Two is even better.

Eat this way for the rest of your life and exercise vigorously.

That’s it. That’s the no-nonsense way to not be fat. There is no “secret” celebrity method to losing 80 lbs in 3 minutes. To not be a fatass you have to stop eating like a fatass.

“Don’t feed that to the dog, it will make him sick. That’s people food!”


Dogs routinely eat vomit, feces and other assorted garbage and even they can’t handle the sugary, chemically altered pseudo-food that people eat all the time. We instinctively know that dogs shouldn’t eat the pretend food but somehow we think we can handle it better than dogs, natures scavengers. If a dog can’t eat it without getting sick, what do you think it’s doing to you?