Depression, or as my Grandfather would say “being a pussy”, is largely self-imposed and easily remedied. Depression is caused by leading a lazy, slothful, gluttonous, pointless, unnatural existence. Boredom is probably the leading cause of depression but a Doctor can't prescribe pills for having a white water rafting adventure.
“But my depression is caused by genetics, chemical imbalance or any other excuse that takes the blame off of me!” That's bullshit. If you're depressed it's your responsibility to fix it. Shoveling pills down your throat isn't a solution, it's part of the problem.
Our Grandparents didn't shovel pills down their throats and they didn't whine about being depressed either. How embarrassed would you be if your Grandfather ever whined about being depressed? I would be ashamed beyond belief. Thankfully my Grandfather didn't have time to be depressed, he was either busy building shit with his hands, killing people in Korea, choking Rattlesnakes to death with his bare hands or drinking beer and playing poker.
Let's take a look at what should be the obvious causes of Depression:
Lack of physical activity - If you sit in a cubicle all day never getting your blood pumping or sweating toxins out it would stand to reason that your insides are just as mucked up as your outsides. It is an obvious fact that anyone who has ever done anything physical knows: after you do some hard physical shit you feel great. You sure as hell don't feel depressed.
Solution: Get physical. Go to the gym and lift your heart out. Go out to the garage and build something. Do some yard work. Mow the lawn. Go for a run. For god's sake keep busy somehow, idleness is a soul-killer. No one was ever depressed after a killer lifting session. No one was ever depressed after building a house with their own hands. No farmer was ever depressed about working on his farm all day. He wouldn't have time to cry about it.
Eating garbage - This one should be the most obvious but somehow this escapes almost everyone - if you eat garbage you feel like garbage. Do you think your Grandfather would come home from a hard day doing physical labor to a dinner of fucking macaroni and cheese made with margarine and skim milk, soy burger patties, and candy for dessert? No. He wouldn't eat that bullshit and he'd slap you in the mouth if you tried to serve it to him. He ate meat and potatoes and washed it down with whole milk or beer because he knew what was good.
Solution: Eat meat. Lots of it. Eat plenty of saturated animal fat. Don't eat anything made in a laboratory.
No love life - If your love life isn't up to par it is probably because of one reason: you are acting like a pussy. Girls already have one pussy, they don't want another one. I know you've been misled (we all have) that girls want a nice, sensitive, feminized man in touch with his feelings. Hey, that's great on paper. Use your eyes to figure out that isn't how it works in the real world. What works in the real world is respect. No one (especially women, double especially women who say they do) respects a feminized man. That horse-shit is how they test you, if you give in you fail. Would your Grandpa act like a fairy to get some chicks? Then you shouldn't either.
Solution: Take up some manly hobbies and quit the feminine nonsense. If you're not a girl, don't act like one.
Working a dull, lazy job - Clearly an unfulfilling work, a place we spend the majority of our time, can be a major cause of feeling like poop.
Solution: You already know what I'm going to say but I'll say it anyway: QUIT. Find something fulfilling. A LIFE PURPOSE is fulfilling in ways a job can never be.
Relying on entertainment to fulfill you - The average American watches 5 hours of the boob tube every day. No joke, I would rather be dead then forced to endure 5 hours of TV every day. It's impossible to not be depressed when constantly bombarded with advertising for stupid bullshit you don't need. Video games are no substitute. Movies are no substitute. The internet is no substitute. I have never once seen my Grandpa: watch TV, watch a movie, dick around on the internet or play video games but somehow he found a way to pass the time. What I have seen him do: fix cars, build houses, smoke cigars, drink beer and play poker.
Solution: Find some better, more meaningful hobbies. Try woodworking, martial arts, weight-lifting, start a business, anything that gets you off the couch and actually doing something. Get rid of that TV!
No family: Probably half of the men I know of my generation came from a broken home. A man no longer has an incentive to get married and have a family. In a snap of a finger all can be taken away by the courts. His children and money can be gone in an instant. With odds like that it's no wonder men don't want to start families. On the other hand, not having a family to care and provide for is likely the biggest cause of male depression and malaise. A man is no longer really the man in a relationship, the State is the caregiver. Our Grandparents didn't have any of that. A man had a family to provide for, being a whiny depressed baby just didn't put food on the table.
A man with a strong family is a man with a purpose. A man with a disintegrating family is a depressed man indeed. Take a look at some foreign families, they never cry about depression.
Solution: For a man wanting to start a family I highly suggest going abroad and finding a women who has not been indoctrinated into the hypergamous misandrous ways of American women. For a man already married but having problems I would highly suggest reading Athol Kay's book The Married Man Sex Life Primer
which will teach you how to be the leader in your relationship. For a man going through divorce, losing his kids and money you have my deepest sympathies. You're in a hole and you will just have to pull yourself out of it. Frankly, this is the only acceptable cause of depression. Just don't let it last forever.
Low Testosterone: It's hard to feel like a man when you ain't producing your man chemical.
Solution: Get it checked. Get it fixed.
Listening to depressing music, watching depressing movies etc..: Do you listen to depressing music because you're depressed or are you depressed because you listen to depressing music? Depressing music has a depressing effect. Stop listening to it.
Solution: Listen to music that pumps you up and makes you feel alive. Don't watch depressing movies. Don't read depressing websites. Cut out the bullshit, baby. It's upbeat and positive or it doesn't exist.
Some tips to remember:
Don't drink too much. Drinking every now and again is fine. Having a couple with dinner is fine. Getting sloshed every day is a recipe for pussified depression. Know any happy alcoholics?
Don't masturbate too much: It's unfortunate that I have to say this, but I do. Internet porn is free and everywhere but masturbating constantly comes with a hefty price: depression, lack of testosterone, obvious loneliness. Work on finding a girl(s), at the very least it will get you out of the house.
Spend your days with a purpose, a mission. When you have no goals or desires all that's left is boredom and depression.
recently moved abroad to study language and i found your blog after arriving here. since starting the blog i’ve quit smoking, stopped watching movies all the time(TV i quit long ago), started at the gym today, found a new job, have drawn up a few business plans for importing products, and stopped with porn and jerking off.
honestly, for the first time in years….i FEEL like a man again. I have such energy i forgot could even exist. this is the greatest blog in the world. keep it up. i love your style and approach. every article i read puts a fire under my ass. I haven’t been this productive, energetic, and driven in about 3 years. thank you
Goddamn man, that comment just fired me up. I love reading positive stories like this! Keep it up, friend. Good luck.
Nice article. I was lucky enough to spend allot of time with my Gramps and learned many of the same things. The guy was a POW of the Japanese during WW2. After living through that not much could depress that man.
GOD DAMN IT !!!! finally americans that think like men! i really enjoy this website ALL that i have read here is CORRECT. The bodybuilding facts all these articles are good are precise are correct , are the way I THINK . good job man you just got this site right in a bag of chips!
Man that site is awesome that’s stuff I enjoy no negative bullshit love the site
I stumbled upon your blog while doing some research to write a post on my blog regarding the benefits of quitting internet porn. I’m astonished by the wealth of useful information I found here, sir! There’s is a real need out there for this kind of concise, straightforward, useful knowledge that is applicable to the real world, such as all this information that you share on here.
WE appreciate the time and effort you have put into sharing this knowledge to the world! I do a similar work on a blog and forum that I am the administrator, which target more the Portuguese speaking Brazilian public, and talk especially about PE (you may have looked into it - Thundersplace, pegym, etc) but we also share tips on “how to be a men” stuff in general.
I would love to be able to share your posts with my fellow needy Brazilian dudes, however I feel it is my duty, and the right thing to do, to ask you for the permission to translate some of your material into Portuguese.
Thank you very much for the public service you have provided.
I think its good what not to do, but what should people do?
Going to the gym, being obsessive about your body, clothes looks.. its kind narcisstic.
Is it being a “pussy” to like books? Art? Or studying ?
Those rules in the 1950s dont apply in our digital information age.. its a different kind of expectation and roles for individuals in society, office work life, people who are cooperative and friendly are liked more. Being individualistic, competitive, traits of American culture but not universal.. happiness is different for everyone
Being a pussy isn’t defined by liking books and things like that Victor never implied that. Being a pussy is submitting to a higher power without your best interest WILLINGLY. Studying and such is doing what you have to do. And Victor isn’t asking everyone to be a musclehead. He is asking us to take pride in our body enough to mold it into the shape we desire or need. Idk where your interpretations came from man.
I’m wondering the same thing. Victor is always recommending books. I’m actually going to buy a book he recommended when I get home for lunch.
victor. i have been depressed for a very long time but i felt so much better after this. Interesting that when I tap into my man side I feel better and im a female. my therpist doesnt know half of what you do bc he wants me to over talk and be overly mushy. im sick of it. i watch a lot of sports and this is the only time i feel connected to my man side, my happy side. im going to do some of your things. but one of the reasons im depressed is because im alone -all the guys that like me are so feminine . i feel like america has been taken over by feminine men and mean aggressive women. help. what to do??
You’re a female, you feel better when you act like a man, then you come and complain to me that men act like women and you are surprised that only fem-men find you attractive. That’s because you act like a man. Act like a female and a man will find you attractive, act like a man and only fems will find you attractive. 1+1=2
Dear Victor,
Your advice and motivation is something I do take to heart, but may I ask if you’ve been depressed before? Not as in “being sad” (we’ve all been sad at any point), but clinically depressed?
I ask this because a classmate of mine was an Army Ranger who had episodes of ptsd and depression, and unfortunately ended up killing himself. I have to disagree that willpower and lifestyle change alone is the be-all-end-all cure for mental health.
As for me and my mental history, medicine cures the symptoms, but as you said, it’s the lifestyle adjustments that prevents it all.
Austin, PTSD is a different animal than the type of depression and general malaise that I talked about in this article. A few months ago I visited the War Remnants Museum in Saigon, and I saw what those men go through and it’s very, very severe BUT! if I had to guess I would guess your friend was using mind altering substances like alcohol or narcotics. Without that shit all can be overcome. It’s simply a matter of time. In his case it’s plausible that with the help of SSRI’s or CBT he could have gotten through it. They say time heals all wounds, and I happen to believe that.
Hey Victor, Thanks alot, Good post, made me rethink on my “depression” and just noticed how i was feeling sorry for myself, I never feel sorry for myself, now its just embarrassing that I was feeling sorry for myself. Thanks heaps :D
Kick ass article. Very much needed and enjoyed reading it! Everyone should be reminded of the things you mentioned in the text above. They can be priceless. They are to me. As a father and a husband and dealing with training related injury, which has me putting gym on hold for a while, I find reading articles such as this one very inspiring and also (this may sound weird) recovering quicker. Thanx for this one Victor. Good job!
I have never been depressed but I have a friend who is. I have been looking around the internet for advice as to how to deal with it and all I got were posts such as:
-Depression is so hard..I can’t deal with it,nobody gets me, nobody understands my pain, don’t even try because you won’t get it
-Here are things you should not say to a depressed person: It will be better, you should exercise more, you don’t have that many problems…and so on.
If anything, this search for advice only made me more skeptical of depression. I share your view. It’s about time somebody said what is on the mind of many people who have to constantly listen to depression whining.
Problem is, when you try to suggest to a depressed person that changing their lifestyle might help, all you get is “It might help, but I’m too depressed to do or change anything and therefore I can’t get out of the depression; It’s a vicious cycle.”. Even worse when they say “you don’t get it, you’ve never been depressed, it’s not that easy”. Maybe , dear person, there is a reason I am not depressed and you are. Maybe I do get it.
I’m getting the impression the author doesn’t have much time for LGBT people? Shame the article was interesting
I don’t have time for people who say ‘LGBT’ with a “straight” face.
So basically you’re an intolerant dick who thinks everyone’s a pussy for bein depressed. Nice.
Hi Sylvia, you’re a really ugly teenager. Both inside and out.
Man I love this article. I just read it for the second time, after writing my own article on how depression is just a tag, an excuse and the end result of not acting like a man should when he starts feeling down. So I came back here and read this and realised how much I missed, which is just a pity. But hey, can’t bite off your stuff, it’s tough biting on chunks of gold.
If anyone would like to read something similar to this article come over to StrengthInConfidence.com and tell me what you think of my post on depression.
Hi, Victor. The problem many people encounter when they’re depressed is an inability to derive pleasure or satisfaction from the sort of activities they used to enjoy. This tends to leave them in a deeper rut because they made an effort to be “manly” and got about as much out of it as watching brainless television. Furthermore, there is a plethora of legitimate reasons for why depression sets in: as you yourself said, divorce, but also the death of a loved one and early childhood trauma such as sexual or physical abuse/torture, to name a couple. Believe me, a person who experiences a major depressive episode wasn’t asking for it to happen. There isn’t a person alive who would make the choice to feel that way, and yet some people certainly seem to like simplifying it as such. Your theory lacks an explanation for why people who’ve lived physically and emotionally healthy lives suddenly stop doing so. On the other hand, I’m glad your advice has helped those who’ve visited this site.
You know, I didn’t think I’d say this when I posted my original comment. In the last couple of weeks, exploring your site has really helped me get my shit together and stop pretending that I’m unable to influence my quality of life, as though it is some kind of spectator sport for which the outcome is out of my hands. I’ve started getting back to working out, eating healthier and even picked up a few new hobbies to occupy my time. I’ve barely glanced at a screen in the last 7 or 8 days, excluding when I come here to my boring ass office job (which has in turn inspired me to look at starting an internet-based business to fund my legal education). That’s not to say that I don’t believe people can’t suffer immeasurably from trauma, and there’s certainly a period of time that a person needs to recover from such things, but in this case, your credo has given me the boot in the ass that I sorely needed to move on and seek satisfaction. Thank you, Victor!
your articles, they do energize me but only for a tiny fraction of second. I need something more substantial , something which would actually work bit longer. But I guess if anyone could discover that or anything even close to it , he will become an instant millionaire…
You should begin by changing your name you Pathetic Loser…
Laughed OUT LOUD on that comment Manny! Thanks!
Victor I couldn’t have said it better…seriously I couldn’t have said it better because I just don’t have the patience for people who sit on their butts whining about their problems. Come to me when you find out you have cancer or some real disease, not something that’s all in your head. To many people don’t work because they live off the tax payers and spend their days on their computers, hell we the tax payers should be the ones depressed. Thanks for a great blog!!
Hey I love this post! Nothing like some good old fashioned common sense. What you say rings very true. I am working through depression at the moment, and nothing feels better than getting my hands dirty digging dirt in the garden when I’m feeling rubbish. I’m taking antidepressants, and they have helped me too, but I will do whatever I can to get out of crappy mind sets, work through past trauma, and just get it back together. Your suggestions would help anyone who is suffering. Thanks for speaking your mind.
“Get Rich or Die Tryin” Great movie to watch to see how to deal with “depression” :)
What’s really depressing is the LACK of THIS kind of message. Quite honestly I cannot find it anywhere else. And every other asshole I come across with an opinion thinks I’m a self-centered, self righteous prick for saying that depression is bullshit (along with my “ridiculous” reasoning behind why suicide is for the weak and inherently selfish for anyone to commit). I tell you, I was depressed for a while during college (complete bullshit waste of $ for the college my parents thought still existed), ended up self medicating on a variety of things because all I felt like was a trapped muzzled animal, biding his time for some stupid degree. It was only within the last few years (after changing schools to the top one of its kind) I was able to figure it the fuck out. Depression is a self-perpetuating grave digging exercise where you pile more and more negativity onto yourself, which only leads to bad coping and lifestyle habits. You wanna not be depressed? Depression is a fucking MINDSET. Stop being depressed. Be that guy you wish you were (your personal Tyler Durden). You are the catalyst needed to be THAT guy, just fucking do it! Now that I’ve graduated, within a month of being back in my home sweet city, I’ve de-cluttered all my shit, found a job that allows me to build/create something new every day (got a 20% raise out of no where the other day), been hitting the gym on the reg, practically ditched all old loser HS friends, and have started working on making prof contacts, commissions, and side hustles. I feel GD liberated as a man.
Granted there are people with medical conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder but for christ sake the majority of people who say they are depressed is because quite literally they are depressing people and are looking for a sympathy pat. Guess what? You got two hands, use ’em! Build something for yourself so you can pat yourself on the back every once and a while. Western Ideologies esp. medicine and feminism sure does poison everything when you step back and open your eyes and ears. Imagine this…what would you call depression if the word didn’t exist? You realize it’s just word you learned and have associations with (all negative). Don’t let labels or words define who you are. Don’t be that depressing guy, be that guy everyone else wishes they could be and wants to fucking know!
You were not depressed, you were sad.
And that is what Vic is talking about in this article: sadness. Not depression. Depression is a real physical degenerative disease of the brain. You cannot “snap out of it” by eating a better diet, going to the gym, etc. Those are all very good things to do, but they do not cure depression.
What flavor Kool-aid was that?
it was brown, the color of bullshit.
Having passed depression for almost like a year now (although i sometimes get some really small rebounds which i quickly shoo away - thanks to Vic and some self improvement skills) i can say that real depression cant be passed away easily. I remember i was almost ready to take anti-depressants (i think prozac was its name) prescribed by a doctor. What stopped me was myself and my parents. I knew those wouldnt help the problem,what they would do actually is mask the problem. But the problem would still be there anyway,so someday i would STILL have to deal with it,sooner or later.
Even by working out,eating right etc i wouldnt feel “powered up”. I was 17 to 18 then,and depression lasted for almost 3 years before finally fading away.Depression is a real pain in the ass.Too bad i didnt know victors site back then,it could help me get over it a lot faster!
This blog is god sent (no i am not religious,its a matter of speech ) :P
Buffguy, glad you could overcome your depression without resorting to drugs. You’re completely right about drugs just masking the problem. While I have never suffered from depression, I rarely use any medication because I don’t want to mask any problems I’m having (be it pain, insomnia, fatigue, etc). In my experience, masking a problem just allows it to continue to get worse and worse until it finally explodes.
Keep fighting the good fight, friend.
I wasn’t always like this. Imagining ways to kill myself daily, over and over again. These are vivid daydreams full of blood and gore. I also think about how the people I know will feel if I left them behind. About five years and several medications later i’m still hanging in there :)
There’s an old idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” and to you sir I say shut the F*** up!
Maybe stop the medications you pathetic crybaby.
This is a fantastic article Vic.
It’s funny, this is the first article of yours that I found, and it was complete chance that I did.
I was up in Indiana visiting my extremely rich and affluent Uncle (who happens to have founded/currently owns multiple chiro business up in Indianapolis) and I was depressed.
I’ve been “depressed” since I was a kid.
I remember that I used to get into periodic slumps of intense emotion, namely anger and sadness. I would sit and run my hands through my hair aggressively (and even pull my hair) while going through an amusement park ride of (at the time) incomprehensible feelings on steroids. I would hide myself away for up to a week and indulge myself in art to avoid my own mind. God, it was pathetic, to say the least.
I used to be big into art. Art was all I did. I didn’t talk to the neighbor kids much, I didn’t go out much, I just did art. I never started wearing black/acting like a loner, but I’m pretty sure my negative attitude and “depression” was obvious to everyone I encountered.
I was actually not too excited to visit my Uncle because he’s a very outgoing, fun, and overall ass-kicking guy, and I’d always feel week and meek in his presence, like I didn’t deserve to be near him. When you’ve never had a strong male role model in your life, I guess it’s normal to be a little bitch.
On one of those nights up there after going to a concert with two blonde cuties who I had happened to meet in the area when I was out with my cousin, I went into the worst “depression” of my entire life. I remember standing in the shower and wanting to break down like a bitch, but I didn’t. I just stood there and all of the weak areas of my life I became instantly aware of in a single moment. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I would’ve rather fallen and broken both my legs and arms on the way down than experience that mental pain again, which was the realization that I was an escapist. I was only good for escaping from reality and nothing else.
I escaped from my shitty reality of weakness and timidity by doing art, watching TV shows, and sleeping/getting fat.
It got so bad that my parents actually made me go to a doctor to get me on medication! Of course, I’ve never wanted to take any of that bullshit medication (even before I found ass-kicking websites such as your own), so I basically had an hour long chat with my kindly Doc. I told him that I wasn’t going to take whatever it was he was going to prescribe me and that was the end of that. Looking back, it might’ve been me just being a snot nosed punk, but I’m glad I was.
When I found this article, I bookmarked it. I read it every day I was up in Indy. I read it when I woke up and when I went to sleep. I lived and breathed this article for a solid two weeks. Eventually, I clicked on the big “Bold and Determined” at the top of the page and found the homepage. The rest is history.
You’ve changed my life Victor.
I’m still somewhat “weak”, and I definitely have my weak traits.
My friends are useless, I don’t have too many, my social skills come and go depending on my mood, and I’m a natural “introvert”, per the definition of Mike from D&P.
However, my depression is gone. It’s funny how that works, I think.
Depression is a mindset, really.
Coming from me, everyone should realize that “depression” is mostly self induced. I’ll admit I’m not the happiest right now because I still have a lot of goals to reach, but “depressed” isn’t the word I’d use to describe myself anymore. I have a future to kill and I know it won’t be easy.
Today, I’ve delegated art to hobby status. I rarely, if ever, engage in it anymore, simply because I’ve lost interest and I have no desire to “go pro” being an artist, although my skill would definitely allow me to get paid right now.
I’ve picked up a guitar and started learning how to play. I am now lifting seriously and I try and read a new book every month. I also got into UFC fighting in late August, and it’s probably become the only sport I still keep up to tabs with weekly.
I still have a long way to go, but baby, I’m on the right track, and it’s all because of you.
The social aspect is probably the biggest thing I currently struggle with at the moment; making friends, keeping girls interested after a few days, and just being confident in situations with complete strangers.
I’ve never known how to be social, I guess it’s just the times we live in. You either have the swagger or you have to build it, and building takes time. Nothing to sit around complaining about. I guess I have to learn how to use my select hours of feeling social enough to talk and put them to good use (being the “introvert”).
I sent you a little email saying I was going to go up and “work for you” when I graduated high school about two months ago (a year or so from now) and you never said anything, but I’m not sure that’s really what I want to do anymore.
If anything, I’ll use my gap year from high school and university (if I go, it’s still up in the air) and fly to Saigon to personally thank you in person.
Maybe get an honest evaluation from you on what I need to improve on in the future to kick more ass, make ass kicking friends, and enjoy my 20s?
Anyways, thanks for always responding to me on Twitter, I really appreciate it. It’s cool to see you actually care about your readers.
Have a fantastic Christmas man, and a wonderful New Years. 2015 is the year of the Lion.
Cheers.
This is all true, depresion is a invent from psicopusssys
Amazing Articles! Very interesting and inspiring. I will do exactly as you say and create this kind of website. But I was wondering,is there any article about your life story Victor?
This shit is so fucking true and inspiring. One thing I want to add.
People often say, depression is a chemical imbalance. Which is true. If you are depressed you will have less serotonin and less dopamine.
But where MD’s and most depressives fuck up is what’s causing the imbalance!!
If you recycle shit thoughts all the time, sit around the house, have no meaningful activities, no love life, no goals you’re working towards. Your happy chemicals will drop down in the basement.
And to fix it you need to take charge of your life.
Depression is in most cases not an illness. It’s very central to who you are as a person and your self-esteem. And that^s just a fact.
today i wrote down my schedule of the week. it ended up in sth like “one espresso at local coffee shop before college”, “go to college”, “one espresso after college”….. “go to home, lie down on couch, study, do random BS on laptop, solve crosswords, watch TV” … “go to bed” …. REPEAT…. all i can say that i don’t worry about any-thing. i’m not in depression nor depressed. i just feel idle. not motivated. i lack health, lack money, lack interpersonal relationship(s). i’m “lone wolf”. also, i can completely relate to “SO WHAT” song by anti-nowhere league. i have lived my life at its MAX. there’s nothing special left. i just don’t want to live any more. what if i could possibly live for another 1000 years !? i don’t want that!! there’s one thing … possibly the last thing that is left for me . 40 days into wilderness. without any money, food or shelter. i don’t think i will die because that would be too easy - to escape this massacre of living my life.
Dude, just challenge yourself! Do your best to become the best at something and you will surely have fun.
Set goals.
Any goal. Even stupid goals. Now, once you are done set higher goals.
What age are you? If you are in your 20s you can try becoming a special forces soldier
Depression is a mental disease. Victor, you talk about being down-sad-unhappy-pussy mode and your advise should work all right but depression is big deal and only professionals know how to deal with it. People feel down or sad because SOMETHING happened to them but depressed people can be healthy, rich, no problems, lots of hobbies, very smart, lots of friends, super ripped all muscles body etc no reasons to feel down and they do feel like shit. Picasso was one depressed guy, for example.
okay so you know exactly how picasso lived ? he had a menal disease?
^this
I highly agree with the depressing music/movies part. It seems like all the songs on the radio today are depressing and focus on break-ups, arguments, infidelity, etc. Stop listening to that crap, it’s brainwashing you! And if you’re going to watch TV, watch a damn documentary, comedy, or action movie. Absolutely no depressing s***!
-Alex
Depression is something that has affected great people like Winston Churchill. The main difference between those great people was they accepted the black dog as a companion showing them a deeper more realistic life. Without that black dog those people would never have contributed so much to society. Depression is not an obstacle, but a rite of passage.
This is so goddamn true. I used to be a slob and i woke up waaay too late, i dragged myself to the office and was a low-functioning lazy shit all day and i had no energy whatsoever. About a week ago in the evening it was 8 pm, and i felt for some reason very tired. I’m used to go to bed at like 12, but this time i said fuck it let’s go to sleep.
Well, next morning i woke up at 5am, i prepared my dinners for the day, had a good big egg and steak breakfast, hit the gym immediately, lifted my ass off, and after that i felt strong and energized for the rest of the day. Arrive at the office, had a presentation that day, and absolutely fucking killed it with a clarity i had never felt before. I even remember worrying about it the previous day. I converse with colleagues much more easily now, im way more productive, everything is just 100% better. This site is my favourite!
And you have obviously never dealt with actual depression. Clinical depression is not the same thing as being “sad” which can be helped by all the things you list. Can people with clinical depression benefit from doing the things you list? Possibly, but the problem is much, much more complex than that.
Having depression means that even though you may do all of the things you list here, while you are going through the pointless, meaningless motions of “living” your brain is constantly saying “what on earth is the point?” You may be able to push past it for a while - you go out, run marathons, eat healthy, have sex, do “meaningful” activities, volunteer at homeless shelters and animal shelters, but while you’re doing all these things that should be giving you a sense of happiness and purpose all you can feel is a void of nothingness. You know that these activities should be making you happy and make you feel fulfilled, yet while in the middle of doing something that should be invigorating and mood-improving you can actually step outside yourself, look around, and think “shouldn’t this be making me happy? Is there any point to doing anything at all if doing what should be this utterly amazing thing can’t even elicit the slightest bit of emotion? If I died right now, would I care?” Once you’ve realized this, it can be exponentially harder to motivate yourself to do anything further, or even to continue doing those activities, seeing as doing all the “right” things did nothing more than make you even more exhausted and depressed.
Depression has existed for a long, long time, yes, even in your grandfather’s and even great-grandfather’s eras. Some farmers suffered from depression, MANY soldiers and veterans suffered from depression. It wasn’t that people didn’t suffer from it, it’s that it was even more misunderstood and stigmatized than it is now, and so more people suffered in silence. Even today, most people who suffer from depression suffer in silence for fear of jackasses like yourself telling them to just “get over it” when that’s exactly what they have been trying to do for the past year, decade, or more.
I suppose you also believe that only weaklings suffer from PTSD or anxiety, too?
So true!
Looked at the comments hoping to find something like this. Very well said.
Then maybe the problem is that they’re thinking instead of living
You’re an idiot, you’re discussing a topic you have absolutely no understanding of. That’s exactly what an ignorant loser does.
Cry more, pussy.
Wow, I’m speechless.
I really appreciate your efforts to help people.
But seriously man. You gotta realize your influence and responsibility for other people’s lives! Have a bit more of respect for life and especially for clinical diseases instead of ignorance.
You don’t have ANY clue what real clinical depression means and I really hope that nobody suffering from it finds this particular blog entry because it will probably make him even more depressed and might be the trigger for a suicide attempt.
I really suggest you get some more information about depression and add a comment to recommend depressive people to consult a doctor.
I’ve suffered from depression for about 10 years until about 6 years ago. And I’ve tried and did everything you’re talking about here. It didn’t change anything. You don’t have a choice when you’re depressive. A depressive person is looking for the purpose of life, of the existence of the universe. If you can’t find the purpose of you’re being there is no difference between being alive and dead. Between living actively and existing passively.
Although for feeling depressed and sad I completely agree with your post. But you should probably point that out somewhere. Clinical depression is nothing to fool around with and I guess you don’t want to be responsible for people’s committing suicide but instead prevent them from doing it. So encourage them to visit a psychiatrist. For God’s or whoever’s sake!
Cry more, pussy.
I tend to agree with you. We choose our destiny and often most negative occurrences in our life we bring upon ourselves from poor decisions and then when suffer the consequences we say I’m depressed!
However a friend of mine was severely sexually abused as a child is a hard working family guy but goes to therapy and takes medication due to the depression he has.
Surely we can’t blame him for being depressed?
Thanks , u blew the right chord in me.After reading ur article i m feeling relieved.
Your suggestions will work for people who are not clinically depressed. However our grandparents did suffer from mental health problems. Suicide isn’t new. I live a remarkably wonderful life. I am physically active at home and at work. I teach which means I stand and move most of then I go home and walk in the woods, work out, dance, cook healthy meals from scratch, and read. I’m very fulfilled by my job. I’m also close to my parents, siblings and inlaws. I have a very loving marriage. Sometimes I feel great. But I am bipolar so occasionally I have depressive episodes. Then no matter how much I think about the wonderful family I have and the meaningful hobbies and job I have. No matter how much I work out and eat healthy, I physically hurt inside. To say that depression is not genetic or chemicals is simply ignorant. I do think the term is overused but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valid for some of us. I don’t medicate and try to focus on healthy living but it’s like not taking Advil for a sprained ankle. The ankle is still hurt whether the external world can see that or not. Just because there’s no blood doesn’t mean it’s not real. I’m glad you have not experienced clinical depression. Do not be so smug to assume whatever you haven’t experienced isn’t real.
^ My thoughts exactly
Best article I’ve ever read…. you nailed it…..awesome!!!! Tired of this generation crying about how thier pussies hurt. Grow the fuck. Stop being a pansie and live your life
What an amazing blog. Just what I needed.
Nice article. Actually its brilliant! But you are missing a point however. You are talking about ‘pusified’ depression that teens experience after a couple of days being ‘down’ and sad and/or a normal reaction to something stressful and/or a sad event. Clinical depression though is a completely different thing. Its not a character flaw, or a weakness of character. Depression is an overused, abused word much like sexism and racism by batshit feminists for example. If you do not make a distinction though between pusified and clinical depression serious cases of clinically depression can me overlooked because they are lost in the noise created by pop-depression teens. In the same manner, abusing and overusing the word racism and sexism real cases of sexism and racism might be overlooked as well.
^well said
Suck it up God dammit as my dad would say. Boo fucking hoo you don’t like something about your life change it. The only one that can help you is yourself.
You do realize people who suffer from depression usually don’t have anything they don’t like about their lives, right?
That’s the whole reason they call it depression… otherwise they would just refer to it as “not liking something about your life”.
*sighs* some people….
“The only one that can help you is yourself.”
> this is true for intelligent people with an analytical mind, a high level of self-awareness and perseverance - but for others, this may not always be possible without someone else guiding them in the right direction…
The author clearly never struggled with real depression.
As many people have stated, there’s a big difference between:
- being sad/unhappy for some reason
- being depressed all the time while having no real problems and living a seemingly fun/happy life
Other than that, you give some great tips, they will surely help any sad or depressed person in some capacity - But you do come off as quite arrogant and a little ignorant… arrogance without ignorance is fine, but don’t go mixing ’em please ;-)
Wow. Victor. It’s so easy for you to say to man up. But maybe you are hiding a weakness in yourself. And you being so ignorant and insensitive shows you are weak. So maybe you should seek something within yourself instead of being this “Big Man”
Right on! Now I’m going to go out and climb a fucking mountain or die trying!
You realize that there are people out there that do literally everything you’ve described and still have severe depression/anxiety/suicidal ideations, right? I came here looking for the signs when depression ends and bullshit begins. What I found instead was a judgmental, poisonously biased and unqualified set of insults toward those who suffer *despite* their physical and emotional needs being met. It’s a disease, man. I suggest reading more.
This is obviously written for men, so I just skimmed over it, but it seems like good advice. I have realized that the antidepressants I’m taking are like any other drug: you need more and more to feel the same. I’m thinking of talking to a dr. and tapering off, and treating my depression the old-fashioned way: by actually fixing my problems. Our reliance on drugs to not feel bad is getting insane; I think medical science should maybe focus on things like cancer and malaria, not develop yet another antidepressant for people to try and then whine about.
However, they weren’t all rugged individuals with no problems back in ye olden days. A lot of people relied on alcohol, many more people smoked than do today, and treatment for those with major depression was usually good old morphine.
Quick note - Nicotine is an antidepressant. ;-)
Also a vasoconstrictor, which helps with focus and getting the brain working.
Not solving the problems is the motto of our age, though - not just in government. (I’ve been a consultant for a long time…) Bandages and make the symptoms submerge… But wallow in the problems and self-pity.
Been trying to fix my problems for years; she finally fixed herself, now her daughter has gone off the deep end… (Aged 22, thinks the world owes her and she’s a [email protected]$$ - on antidepressants, can’t keep a job, and burned her last lifeline this weekend…)
We have coddled people too much. Even as a VP at a TBTF, _I_ was coddled too much; how do the younger generations survive?
One of your best articles, is The Best of Bold And Determined coming out anyday soon?
-SH
I honestly think that insulting people with actual clinical depression and calling them names like ‘pussy’ is not going to help. Though I see where you’re getting at, and this might help people who are feeling down or sad, you should probably be a little more tactful next time. Especially since your audience will most likely be people with clinical depression. One of my friends who has depression came across someone who said something like this and she nearly pitched herself over a building.
Also, side note, sex doesn’t cure depression. Please be careful about what you say.
Question about the family cause:
What to do when it’s a woman and her daughter, not married, but own joint property; and the daughter is even more “froot loops” than the mother, causes problems all the time, and (millennial) admits no responsibility nor is willing to show respect?
Let’s just say, it’s causing long-term problems. Much as I’d like to help them, I’m now in a no-win situation, and need to cut both loose - once something is resolved.
How to factor that into the equation, and deal with the stresses and depression that accompany it? 11 years trying to correct the problems, mind, so it’s not like I just walk out - which would be the best thing to do, and likely the ONLY solution overall.
Wonderful
This misses something. I was very depressed as a young girl because I was bullied and because general society makes girls feel like physical beauty is their most important contibution, which is something I lacked. Things got better as I matured and now I am able to help others overcome the demons of their own childhoods. There are plenty of adults however who remain physically ugly as they age, so the depression continues because society hasn’t changed too much in that regard. You must not know what toll bullying takes on people.
Everything is correct and u have some great points.
However depression is real. It’s not what most people think it is where you are just a “whiny bitch” who needs to “.try harder”. It however appears to others that way. Atleast who actually struggle with depression. Not the “whiny bitch”, “lazy” , underachiever who just needs to work harder or snap out of it.
I think u need to replace depressipn here with “sadness” or this article should be targeted towards folks who need to get motivated or “try harder”.
Finding good things u like is helpful always.
Great post.
I agree with you even though there seems to be plenty who don’t.
The world for us westerners is touchy feely and too far left.
I’m not from the USA but I am a white male.
Men like myself need something in life that is a battle or a struggle or constantly forcing you to rely on your wits, guts, strength and even bravado.
All those “manly” things your grandad did I can’t do as my dad bailed when I was a baby and I never learnt those skills and it frustrates me. I also was unable to pass those skills on to my children so the pattern continues. Almost everything I say to my family offends someone, they think I am an a$$hole and treat me like one. I guess I am as I forfeited my manhood when I was courting my wife approx 25years ago. I pretended to be the type of guy that a gal wants ( not just to my wife but all gals) without being honest to myself. So I’ve ended up a lonely ( still have wife and 1 teenager at home) mid 40’s guy who is missing something in life and no matter where I try find it it’s not there.
I’ve worked hard all my life, 80+hours a week to provide for my family and to give them more than I had. Blue collar stuff mostly so the body is wrecked.
Sports used to be a way to get, feel, live and maintain some bloke-hoodness (sic) but those sports are off the list and cycling and Pilates doesn’t give me the same buzz as contact used to.
I believe men especially need a struggle to excel in life. A real struggle not just being a bit short of cash or similar.
Not that I want people to die in wars etc but reading diaries and accounts of soldiers and civilians during wartime there is clearly something in those intense times of struggle and suffering that people say was the happiest time in their lives and they reflect on it fondly.
Sorry if that came out as a rant of rave. :)
All the best to whoever reads this.
I always feel my self too lazy but when i see my books infornt of me i think that today i will do some study but after some time my head is paining and i sleep so what should i do to preparemy self for studies
Dear Victor,
Thanks for the wonderful information. There are so many sites on the INTERNET which are negative, They say keeping busy doesn’t cure depression. Type the keywords ” Keeping busy Depression” on Google and you will see 80% sites with wrong information. Should we stay idle and in depressive thoughts ? The thing is to resolve negative thoughts and be in a routine can heal depression. What are your comments on these sites Victor , Please reply