When 18 year old boys email me asking for advice the number one thing they feel is REGRET.
They feel regret for what they think is a wasted opportunity.
They feel like they didn't act soon enough, now it's too late for them and that it's all over.
I got bad news for you, boys…
It probably is over for you … unless you do something about it right now.
You're 18 and you have your whole life in front of you but that does not change this one iron-clad rule of life: IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
When you're a young gun you feel like every move is life or death. You feel like:
“I have to do it now because tomorrow is too late.”
And that's the right attitude to have. You gotta go now and if you don't, you're stuck forever.
I could lie and say you have all the time in the world but you don't have all the time in the world.
If you don't take action today you will regret it tomorrow, like everybody else does.
From young Alexander to ol' Grandpa Joe…
Most people feel regret and do nothing about it.
Do you know what emotion dying people experience the most?
REGRET.
Dying people made bad decisions and wasted their entire lives. On their death bed it hits them like a ton of bricks…
“Oh my God. What did I do with my life?”
Imagine living your whole life and never doing what you're meant to do, never fulfilling your destiny and being a slave your whole life. Ouch.
Feeling regret right now is totally normal. It's also totally normal to feel regret when you die. In fact…
It's totally normal to live your entire life feeling regret.
What's not normal is living life without regrets, being free and being happy.
See, people naturally don't live up to their potential.
They feel like they can always “do it later.”
But laziness and inaction catches up to everyone … and all of a sudden later comes and they haven't done anything.
Tomorrow you must answer for what you did today.
If what you did today wasn't enough, then you can expect a visit from the regret fairy tomorrow.
You feel regret now? GOOD. You should feel regret. Use it as fuel.
Feeling regretful for missing an opportunity is the right thing to feel.
Your body is saying to you “we missed this one, don't miss the next one.”
If you don't take action today you will regret it tomorrow.
The decisions you make and the actions you take right now decide what will happen to you tomorrow.
ALL YOU HAVE IS RIGHT NOW.
You have right now and that's all you have.
If you waste too many of your todays you'll be on your deathbed tomorrow crying about your wasted life just like Grandpa Joe.
But it doesn't have to be that way…
I said a million billion times already you have a million billion opportunities today that didn't exist even ten years ago.
You can be a passenger or you can be a driver and it's entirely up to you.
You don't have to follow the same path that Grandpa Joe followed, he came from a different era. His opportunities were far less than yours.
Grandpa Joe did what he HAD to do. You can do what you WANT to do.
Can you spot the difference?
Grandpa Joe didn't have much of a choice and he regretted it when he died.
When you die, with all the choice you have, will you regret it too?
If you don't want to feel regret you have to live life by this one principle:
ALL YOU HAVE IS RIGHT NOW.
Right now, you youngsters and many other people feel intense regret.
You feel like you waited too long, missed an opportunity and it's over for you.
You're partially right. You may have missed an opportunity but new ones will emerge.
The trick is to let your regret fuel you into not missing another opportunity.
Your brain is saying “we missed the last one, don't miss this next one” and you gotta listen.
Each second you wait is a second you waste and you may not get another one.
A wasted opportunity is a wasted opportunity no matter how old you are.
Just because “you have your whole life ahead of you” doesn't mean you can be lazy and slow because you cannot be lazy and slow.
If you're lazy and slow, the next thing you know you'll be on the deathbed and you'll be saying “Oh my God, I wish I had done this or that…”
But by then it's too late.
It's now or never and you have to start right now.
Yesterday don't mean shit and tomorrow don't mean much more.
It's all about right now and right now I will show you the #1 rule you must follow to live life well….
The #1 rule to live well:
ALL YOU HAVE IS RIGHT NOW.
Make it count.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Victor Pride
PS - There are 2 articles coming soon that you will love.
1. 18 Years Old? How to Earn a College Degree Without Earning a College Degree. It's for 18 year olds specifically. You'll love it.
2. The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying (and how to live with no regrets). This article shows you the powerful top 5 regrets of dying men and I show you how you can turn those 5 regrets into fuel for a great life.
You won't want to miss these 2 life-changing articles. Enter your email address in the box below and I'll send you an email when these 2 articles are live. Enter your email address right now because tomorrow is too late.
While you wait for those 2 great articles to drop, you can to read these great articles for 18 year olds:
- 18 Things Every 18 Year Old Should Know
- Unconventional Advice for Young Men
- 5 Ways to Set Yourself Up for Success in Your 30s
Talk soon, boys. Whatever you do, bookmark Bold & Determined because more is coming soon specifically for you.
Thank you Victor, this article is great!
I am 19 and you have changed my life. A friend told me about your site a year before and I don’t know were I would be now if it wasn’t for you.
I thank you very much for showing me the path.
My man.
Awesome post Vic. I’m 25 now and I do regret a lot of the time I wasted playing video games and drinking and other bullshit. What you said about using regret as fuel really resonated with me. A few weeks ago I became disgusted with myself and started working towards my true purpose 24/7. I decided that I’d never waste another minute. I’m going to fulfill my destiny and make sure I never regret anything again.
MY MAN!
For the song version of this article, please refer to Yesterday Don’t Mean Shit by Pantera
Daaaamn victor. Back at it again with the amazing articles.
You bet
19 been reading b en d from Holland since its first article! Now in uks big city centre in an apartment making sales on rental hire of cars. Making great paper! Jacked as fuck!
My man!
Your fear of regret should be bigger than your fear of failure from approaching and tackling new endeavors.
What could go wrong if you tried? yeah you might fail or even succeed but you learn that maybe it works for you or it doesn’t. You find out but if you miss a chance or opportunity then you never know and you will always carry that regret with you later on. That “What if…” will remain in your head. You don’t want that.
This is why when you see a right opportunity, you seize it right away without any second thoughts.
This could apply towards business opportunity, meeting new people, girls, traveling to new places, and so on.
It’s good to learn from your own mistakes but it’s much better to learn from other people’s mistake and use that as a crutch to buildup your learning process.
Internet has enormous amount of practical advises and today, it’s so saturated with full of information out there. It used like more than ten years ago, it wasn’t easy to find certain necessities but now internet has tons of advice and tips for men. Now it’s more like picking the right one among the average ones (practical advises).
This means there is no excuse for any 18 year old to feel like fuck up. If men back in early and mid 1900s succeed and immigrants with limited to no English can succeed, there is no reason for any young men today to not to.
If you need something to get done or chores or any tasks, get it done right away. Don’t push it with “I will do it tomorrow”. Because that “tomorrow” can be another “tomorrow”. Even the *harmless* “ten minutes later” can turn into “hour later”. Just do it NOW.
You need clients to buy your services, then pick up the phone NOW. Your missed opportunity is someone else’s fresh opportunity. It’s like quicksand out there, if you don’t move then you sink and die. Hustle! Hustle! Keep moving and value every minute of your time valuable and use it wisely.
A man wasn’t built to drink, sex/jack off, party, etc all day. Rinse and repeat on that routine and a man’s insanity is going to kick in. This is why no matter how many times you repeat on those short term impulses, you always feel like shit at the end of the day. Deep down inside you know it but you can’t bring yourself to admit it.
A Man was meant to have a purpose in life and build his own empire. This is why when you feel the HIGHS after achieving something on your own, that feeling is NEVER replace-able and not even comparable to any drugs out there. The feeling of HIGHS from achievement. After accepting this, know and understand there is no turning back. Your version of yourself will always be improving and anyone who stands in your way to bring you down will have to be cut off from you.
Do not feel any regrets. Always understand that you can make and lose money but once you lose time, you can never get it back. Everyone has this most valuable asset -> TIME but only few use it productively and wisely.
Do you have a blog TS? Your comments are always outstanding.
Thank you for the comment Victor.
I don’t have a blog as of now.
You win the internet for the day!
Spot on with regret. Emotions are information, nothing more. Regret tells you the kinds of things you know you should have been doing.
Emotions as fuel is pretty apt, I think. When you use them to move you towards something (positive emotions) or away from something (negative emotions), they keep you moving through life.
The danger with something like regret - or any abused emotion for that matter - is piling it up without taking any action. If you spend each day regretting the things you didn’t do, and if you don’t use that fuel to move forward: The analogy stops being fuel for your vehicle, and turns into pouring gasoline on the grease fire in your house.
Meant to put this comment on it’s own. Anyway, nice writeup TS.
“Imagine living your whole life and never doing what you’re meant to do, never fulfilling your destiny and being a slave your whole life. Ouch.” A legit quote! We’re all born into time, and we’re all know what to do with it. Weak will and fear of pain are our enemies! Thank you, Vic! The article is a lightning bolt!
Thanks Aleks!
I completely agree with Victor on this one. “It probably is over for you … unless you do something about it right now.”
I made the mistake of reaching what I wanted (coming to the US) and then standing still for years, following the rules and regulations of social dogma, and most especially being nice.
Big effin’ mistake, the result was a layoff and now I am in a not-so-nice situation.
However, I learned a few things.
1) Learn. Never stop to learn. I don’t mean school stuff. Get a book by Frankl, get a book by Kissinger, get a book by … Victor. Get stuff that teaches you and fill up both your library and your brain. You don’t have the money to get books? Buy them used on amazon, use the public library (Ask them to buy them for you), find the PDF/EPUB on the internet, find whatever is similar. Watch documentaries instead of TV shows.
2) Don’t be nice, but don’t be a jerk. I used to be nice, never interrupting two people speaking, never trying to impose myself. It ended up that no one knew who I was. I began networking. One way to do that is overhear two people talking and then just interrupt them saying “I could’t help not listening, but…” and then talk about your ideas and yourself. However, you need to be informed, therefore #1 is pivotal to do #2. And don’t be a jerk, you need to give them what they don’t have (usually some piece of information). Guess what? Now everyone important in my city knows me by name, we chat, and they want me to attend events, dinners, etc.
3) Don’t stop. Always think that time is limited. I made the mistake of not thinking about time and now I am cramming stuff that should take ten years in just two years. If I can do it - with kids, a full time job, going to college, being on two different boards - you can do it. Just watch less TV, less facebook, wake up a little bit earlier. And guess what, I even have time to travel. Just Saturday and yesterday I was on Bourbon St in New Orleans. Why? Just because my wife and I wanted to have some fun (fun is important). Now? I am back to doing stuff. Next week? If I do what I planned to do: Colorado. Another thing I learned is to **never stop thinking about work even on vacation**. How? Simple, use “dead times” while you’re driving and chase the small stuff (I saw an old bookstore on Bourbon St, while everyone else was smoking drugs outside being ripped off for a $8 beer I got in and found a treasure of books that I promptly bought).
4) Don’t fear. Whatever happens, you will make it pass.
5) Trust yourself, you’re more capable than THEY want you to feel. They’re scared of you.
6) Learn from your mistakes, so you can make as many as you want.
7) Just. Be. Patient.
Great advice EA!
Great advice. Don’t leave this world wondering “What If?”
Very true Victor! We tend to put aside our dreams for other dumb shit because we think we have time. Life is short and I have seen many people with regrets. But like you said regret should be the fuel that makes you go!
As of right now I’m crossing the Delaware River on a ferry because as of next month I will make the big move from NY to VA. Have been putting this off for years and now is the time to make the move. Looking back I could have made the move earlier instead of waiting but I was (hate this word) AFRAID. I think many people put things off because of FEAR only to regret not doing it afterwards.
So Young Man if I were you stop putting off things because of laziness and fear. Most of the time the fear you have is mental and can be overcome just by jumping in and doing it. Listen to what Victor is saying he has been there as well as many others.
If you got a dream make it happen brother! You will be glad that you did!
As always Victor thank you for helping me realize that I too need to get on the ball. Good work!
Thank you Jose
This is how you move mountains.
Nothing like knowing it’s now or never to make your mark.
The wise will open their eyes and know that they can have anything they see before them.
Regret is painful, no doubt.
I’ve thrown away many days of my life convincing myself I was content being mediocre.
Looking back I see what I could have had if only I knew want I wanted sooner. If only I dared to dream bigger and cared less about leaving others in my dust.
The day I found Bold and Determined was the D-Day of my life. The tide turned completely.
I went from being broke and working a job I hated, to more than doubling my income in just over a year.
All I did was read the blog and take action.
You preach the truth, Victor. Your work lights a fire in anyone with a pulse.
Now I make every minute count.
Thanks, Vic.
-Hoz
Thanks Hoz
Am 27 and just figured this out, after being depressed and unwilling to change for years.
Still I am thinking “I am not 30/35/40, lets just fcking do it”.
(I studied then ended up graduating in a field that in retrospective I didnt really like, found myself stuck).
People…Time is the only certainty. Do not waste it like I did.
Yeah! All you have is right now. No matter how old you are. Just today I read in Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations the following:
“No one can lose either the past or the future - how could anyone be deprived of what he does not possess?
…
It is only the present moment of which either stands to be deprived: and if indeed this is all he has, he cannot lose what he does not have.”
Love your article even if I’m not 18 ;-)
Thanks Jonas
Great article Vic! Although you’ve targeted 18 year olds, this article holds true for everyone…
BTW, I like the American flag Vic pic at the bottom. ;)
-Shyam
Thanks Shyam
Hey man,
I came across a meme a while ago that says:
“Hell is when you are on your death bed, knowing you lived an average life, thinking of the ideas and dreams you never pursued”.
I can’t remember where I got it but I made it my FB cover photo, and that is was it shall remain and serve as a constant reminder.
This article says “Tomorrow you must answer for what you did today”, again a very powerful message.
For all the 18 year olds out there take it from this article and take it from me, a me 32 year old that has lived nearly twice as long as you, that regret will eat you up like cancer if you allow opportunities to float on by.
I was brought up to not do anything that involved pretty much any risk whatsoever, to be safe, to think it through thoroughly first, to lay low under the radar and do the “right thing”, to be nice to everyone regardless, TO BE SCARED.
Well last year I woke up, I became a Bold and Determined reader and I flipped mentally, as did my life.
I finished with my girlfriend on new year, as she was sucking me dry (no pun) of energy and emotion, and dragging me further into an unhappy relationship.
I parted with people who were negative and doing me disservice. I purchased Body of Spartan and began smashing the weights, I started eating better food and being more proud of who I was, the list goes on.
In my life prior to all this, I landed a decent career, I kept myself fit, but a lot of what I really wanted was to go out with more women, to nail more chicks, to at least talk to the girls who I liked rather than having to watch them get hit on by other guys who knew what they were doing. Watching one and after another opportunity go on by led to more.. you guessed it. REGRET!
More and more pain for when I come close to the end..
I’m still working on this problem now as I still can’t talk to girls, but Victor, you and your articles have got me out the blocks and woken me up to reality.
I couldn’t have made these drastic changes without you, Mike C and Chris @ GLL, and the articles and podcasts you make.
Please excuse the fucking retarded emails I may have sent you in the past, going through all those changes and realisations was hard for me, but I’m climbing out of the hole and by your grace am striving claw and tooth for a life that will no longer be marred with regrets.
You mightn’t think much of me but I have nothing but love for you 3 for having given me the tools and guiding lights for my quest to be a better man.
Thanks again.
Your humble fan..
Matt
Great comment, Matt. Thank you.
Victor,
I wish I had been able to read this when I was 18. The thought of “There’s plenty of time” caused me to miss a LOT of opportunities. It’s embarrassing to think about all of the time I spent watching TV, playing video games, working at dead-end jobs I hated, and generally sitting around rotting. All because there was “plenty of time.”
I finally woke up at age 30, largely thanks to reading you, Cernovich, and a couple of others. And I realized just how far behind I was because of all my wasted time.
I am now 32, and even though I haven’t met my goals yet, I’ve lived more in two years than I did in the other 12 of my adult life. I’m my own boss, I’m in the best shape of my life, and finally have some money in my pocket. But there’s no doubt that I should have started much earlier.
I woke up in time to change and still build my empire and enjoy my life, but I almost waited too long. I hope all the 18 year olds that read this make their change today instead of waiting like I did.
My man
Good stuff. That’s right: TIME is our MOST VALUABLE RESOURCE to use… Can’t be wasting it…
Thanks for this great reminder Mr. Pride. Amen.
~ Sincerely,
Bro. Jed
Thanks Jed
Top quality post Victor! Couldn’t agree more with your theme of regret!
Should absolutely resonate with every human on earth!
Just a thought… When you mention your quotes, you could/should (not telling you what to do just a thought) add a tweet link with it. Readers will be incline to tweet your quotes and any of their followers who resonate will click, have a read, potentially have a look at other posts and subscribe.
Just food for thought.
Until next time!
Ben
Thanks Ben
I know all too well what it’s like to be 18 years old and feel like you’ve got the world by the tail, and all of the time it contains. Full of beans and only living for today.
When I hit 21 the party was just getting started. I’d get asked by family members and their friends what I planned to do with my life. I was only living for the moment and I had no idea … didn’t really care, actually. They would all say, “Don’t worry. You’ve got PLENTY of time!”
That was a LIE. But it was all I needed to satisfy the discontent, anxiousness, and REGRET I’d already started feeling for the time I’d wasted. Little did I know at the time that I was just getting started.
I went for years drinking and partying my life away. At age 27 I knocked up a girl I’d been screwing around with and was on the verge of dumping. I stuck around for the kid, but his mom and I were nowhere near a match. I numbed myself to the situation I was in with alcohol, drugs, affairs, pornography, and masturbation.
I hated my life, but it was the only one that I knew. My wife and I had no shared interests and any projects I started in an effort to better myself and my situation got met with hostility by her. I watched as our children seemed to grow up over night and have children of their own, all the while bouncing from one go-nowhere job to the next trying to make something stick.
I’m now 55 years old. No money in the bank. Go-nowhere inside sales/customer service job. And enduring the mid-life crisis from hell. Regrets of the life I’ve wasted and the things I’ve done is all that I have. The mere weight of my regrets threaten to crush my very soul.
Right NOW is all that you have! Do NOT let anyone tell you that you “have plenty of time” to figure things out. It is a LIE born in the depths of hell itself. There is NO TOMORROW. Tomorrow is an illusion. Five minutes from now is a fucking illusion! Hell, your next breath is an illusion!
RIGHT NOW is all that exists, and it requires IMMEDIATE ACTION!
Do not end up like me. I’m a fucking loser. I watched my whole life go by waiting on tomorrow and it hasn’t shown up yet. And you know what, unless I am able to muster the mindset and tenacity at this late stage in my life that it’s going to take, there NEVER WILL be a “tomorrow” for me. I will die in some clinical environment, REGRETS heaped on top of me, an lucky if I have any family or friends there to bid me farewell.
Seem like a dark picture? It is! Think my life is the exception and not the rule? Perhaps mine is extreme, but the VAST majority of men out there are leading the proverbial lives of quiet desperation. The VAST majority will die with their regrets haunting them until they draw their final breath. That is a FACT.
Determine RIGHT NOW not to be one of them! Then DO SOMETHING.
Get off of you ass and get moving … NOW! Do not throw your life away in your prime years and blame it on being “young and dumb.” My life is all the proof you need that being young and dumb can much too easily lead to old and stupid. You do NOT want to end up with the weight of regret that I currently experience. It is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Great comment friend. Thank you for posting.
Thank you for this wonderful message
THANK YOU, this made my eyes water. I’m 28 and feel like I need to take the next step, I regret how much time I wasted growing up. This is really one of the best comments I have ever read!
Hi , I am an 17 year old boy as you said to live like no tomorrow , all u have is right now
Pls , tell me this too how to save your self from attraction (I mean girls) I think behind them we just spoil our future .
I am like an alpha to all of them but girls are my weakness , their beauty , their eyes ,I became mad and can’t focus on my goals , my future studies
Pls mail me soon its question of mine future
am an 17 year old boy as you said to live like no tomorrow , all u have is right now
Pls , tell me this too how to save your self from attraction (I mean girls) I think behind them we just spoil our future .
I am like an alpha to all of them but girls are my weakness , their beauty , their eyes ,I became mad and can’t focus on my goals , my future studies
Pls mail me soon its question of mine future
Yo Victor
When’s the article of “Getting a College Degree without Earning a College Degree” ?
I’m anticipating on your thoughts on that. How much sooner?
Thanks for the great content btw.
She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.
Been 2 months mate, gonno keep ya word?