From the desk of Victor Pride
Subj: How to be the boss
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I recently received this question from a B&D; reader…
What kind of relationship should a boss have with employees and interns? I feel as if they start to take advantage if you are too friendly with them, but if you are cold and too professional they do not approach you and are reluctant to ask for help or to inform you about bad news.”
I'm from the world of D.I.Y.O.D.S.
Do It Your Own Damn Self.
I've never asked anybody for anything, I've never had a mentor, I've never looked up to anyone, I've never been an intern and I never knew what interns are supposed to do.
So I never even thought of having interns until I met C. in Indonesia…
I liked him right away and he said he wanted to come out to Bangkok to do some good work with me.
After I made him jump through some hoops I said sure, no problem. He was great so when Sam wanted to come out to Vietnam to do some work, I did the same.
I've never asked anyone to intern for me, they always come to me. Over the years I have had several more interns, starting with C. and ending with Red Steve.
They think they can handle life with no net. I have always made it my duty to ensure the opposite…
I don't know what the job of an intern is so I only ever did two things:
- Try to teach them little by little
- Try like hell to make them quit
I don't build them up like Tony Robbins, I break them down like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
Interns have to be broken down and built back up from the ground, especially the ones with college degrees. I've found the more schooling they have, the more useless they are.
My only goal with interns is to make them strong or make them quit.
It is very pointless to teach them too much, too fast. They won't retain it, they will become overwhelmed and quit.
If they're going to quit I want them to quit as quickly as possible, so I put them on non-stimulating work for a good long while.
The sooner they quit, the better for me because they are not usually a big help but a big burden.
I take them under my wing and slowly teach them the secrets of the game through the kindness of my heart, I don't make any money from them.
But for them to learn the secrets of the game, they have to make it through hell…
Interning with me is like taking a journey into hell.
I run the game like a drill sergeant.
I am cold, distant, harsh, and feared, like a drill sergeant in the armed forces or a Don in an Italian crime family.
It is better to be feared than to be loved. Let them love their dogs, me they have to fear.
To master the game, the training must be severe.
If they can handle the severity of the training and not quit, they will form the patience that success requires.
Patience is the absolute key to victory in this game.
It takes a very long time to achieve the success you require, in the meantime you have to wait for it.
The hardest thing to learn in this game is how to wait.
Do the work… then what? Money rains from the sky immediately? Get real.
Everybody knows the secret formula: do work = get paid
But there is a middle part of that equation that gets overlooked…
Do work + wait a long time = get paid
Money rains from the sky about a year after you do great work.
What happens in the meantime? You have to learn how to patiently wait.
The waiting is the ultimate hell that they have to overcome.
Hard work is not the devil, waiting is the devil.
The young guns who “want it all yesterday” cannot handle the waiting.
So instead of waiting for success, which is inevitable if you do not quit, they quit and never achieve success.
My only job is to make them quit faster.
They think they're going to be experts in a week, well, think again.
I've been in this great game of blog artistry for seven years. Some intern is going to learn what I know in seven days? Get real.
IT TAKES A LONG TIME!
It takes a long time to achieve success, and for many young men today it takes a long time for them to stop being entitled and impatient.
I will kill their impatience and entitlement or they will not be able to handle the hell I bring and they will quit.
The ones who do quit go on to do nothing. A quitter is a quitter is a quitter.
The ones who continue to do work for me go on to do good things, like Sam who is now doing great work with Vahva Fitness.
So how to be a boss?
Do everything you can to teach them the way and try like hell to make them quit every step of the way.
They have to learn to have patience, it is the most important skill to possess.
To learn patience they have to learn to be as Musashi.
No matter how tough, how hard, how blah you get…
NEVER STRAY FROM THE WAY.
This is how success is achieved and it is the only lesson anybody needs to learn.
Don't quit, especially when you want to quit. And if you do quit, you deserve everything you don't get.
For me, it is a fun game. When they quit, I win. When they last, I lose the game.
But no matter the outcome…
I always win in the end.
Ha ha.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Victor Pride
PS - Bold and Determined Vol. 2 is your example of never straying from the way.
People want it now because they don’t believe they can really have it. Once you know that you will have what you want your impatience disappears.
The funny thing is that everyone can have what they want but instead of focusing on the what’s in front of them literally, they dive into their own mind where false thoughts arise and life passes them by.
Great article
Mr. Pride
How to loving “doing what you want to do”? Did you have to build an obsession or passion first?
Thank you VIC! So true. This was my mistake , over and over again. I feel business is somewhat like fitness. It’s always the patient people who put in the work… that get results.
This stands no matter what kind of job you have: a big shit blog like B&D, the military, or corporate America.
I currently work in corporate America and our CEO has, more or less, been the opposite of what Victor talks about: tolerates disloyalty, gives too many 2nd chances, is overly lenient, too sensitive and concerned about the people doing the work and not his bottom line. He’s a corporate cuck.
So, it’s no wonder that all of us are starting to disrespect and do our own thing, as opposed to what the fucking CEO says. Leniency breeds disloyalty and disrespect.
Good work, Vic.
This reminds me of one of those stories where a student wishes to train at the Shaolin temple and they discourage them endlessly.
Fire Forges Steel
“I’ve never looked up to anyone”
^
THIS! This is what sets an UNBREAKABLE confident, successful Man apart from all the hero worshipers that only drool.
“It is very pointless to teach them too much, too fast.”
^
I find it that if you teach something valuable to someone too much and too fast to someone, they usually do not appreciate it. You usually have to make them earn it and that’s through dedication, time and hard work. In your case, an intern.
If you teach something really valuable to someone like stranger, you might as well charge them.
“My only job is to make them quit faster.”
^
You are actually valuing your time and also doing them a favor as well. Saving their time as well by making them quit faster.
Hi Vic, what can we do when we are no longer able to regain our self-confidence ? Do you have some advice to find it? It’s very hard to live with no self-confidence and many people would like to have your advice. Thank you.
Well, I came back on this site right when you’re blogging for 30 days straight.
Might as well ask: can I apply to be your intern?
No.
That was a fast one
Show Vic the value you bring. That way you are not a burden. At that point though, why bother being an intern? When you don’t need it, is when you will you get it. Same goes for getting women. Would you cold approach and say ‘Can I be your boyfriend?’ Asking is better than drowning in apathetic dreamland, but not by much. Build yourself up to be valuable and let others do the asking.
Great article. Do you have any solid advice on what to invest your money on? Like I have tons of cash and money in my debit card just sitting around and I started a blue collar business but I was wondering about more ways to make more money? Any advice or books you wrote would be appreciated!
Cheers,
Roman
Same here. Any thoughts on investing Vic? I’m perhaps the ‘laziest’ reader of B&D. I’m not that into building a business like most of you brothers here are, but I’d love to invest my money (and time) on true builders. How do you judge if a company is worth investing on? How do we develop a sharp eye for discovering good investments?
I agree, I would say you should start first with a simple blue collar business, have that be self sustaining and then learn more about other things.
Hi Vic.
I have read all you have written on Red-PCT and natural testosterone optimization.
Maybe you’d consider another post on test, free test, and DHT and what can be done naturally to manipulate those?
Anabolic Apex and Anabolic Men have been my reference thus far.
Cheers
I rewatched an excellent movie called “Two Weeks in Hell.” Basically it’s the first two weeks of preliminary training for the Green Berets. This is the basic training to be able to qualify to train to be a Green Beret. There’s no guarantee at all to get in after that, and most never do.
Two weeks. That’s all it takes to separate men from boys. Many can’t even last a few hours before becoming delirious and falling all over themselves. Many more will either withdraw voluntarily or be unable to continue. It’s only two weeks of hell and many can’t stand two days in hell.
This is the same in business. You’re either going to go through hell or you’re not. Most bad businesses, most dipshit blogs with two posts, and “motivated killers” won’t even last two weeks. They’ll give up after two days without any real physical challenge being present. Just mental and it’s too much.
I understand why you put them through hell. That’s the only way in the Green Berets that you can get the right candidates, same as business. No hell, then they won’t get the keys to heaven.
https://thequintessentialmind.com/machiavellian-tactics/
I rather be feared than to be loved too.
Take a hint: Machiavelli is not available for more than a 100 years since right now.
Wow, “When they quit, I win. When they last, I lose the game”.Thanks and God bless you.
Agreed. When I worked in restaurants and culinary school to learn my art, they were harsh, sometimes cruel, and always demanding. I’m fine with it. They’d call me everything but white and expect me to shit gold. I learned to shit gold. I didn’t care what they did as long as they taught me what I needed to know. They were the master, I was the student. So I endured.
I have encountered 11 years of hell and set back and failures, mostly due to my own choices. I have given up in the past and reaped the rewards of such a choice; a prolonging of my hell. I am still in the midst of the storm, but I have learned endurance. I am learning patience and self discipline. My strength grows daily because of my hardships.
I used to hate this hell I was in, now I embrace it because I know it is the fires that will forge me into something much stronger and better. These trials I endure are here for a reason. I must endure them because without them I would not have become the man I am, the man I will continue to evolve into.
Some of my lessons I’ve read. And some have come from your site Victor. I don’t always agree with everything that comes out of your mouth, but I admire your mindset and the path that you have followed.
I will continue to move forward, even if my current venture fails. I will get up and try again. Because to fail is to die.
Amen.
I feel this is one of your best articles Vic….. Really inspiring !! Absolutely true…
‘To shine like a Sun,you first need to BURN LIKE A SUN”…..